Ya know, for a guy who isn't getting laid I sure ask that question a lot. :P
... and after wasting about 10 minutes tearing the place apart I found them... sitting at the foot of the cats' side of the bed... where I forgot that I put them last night... so I'd be able to find them nice and easy in the morning.
I guess that plan failed.
Ugh… I just want to go home, curl up into a ball and forget the world exists today. It all started last night around 3:30AM… I woke up for no good reason and just couldn't sleep so I proceeded to toss and turn for half an hour all the while trying to convince Tanngrissnir that I wasn't awake for his amusement. He didn't believe me. From there waking up at 6:00 with my alarm didn't feel like a good idea so I reset it for 7:00 and tried to get some more sleep. The operative word is "tried" I think I might have gotten a whopping 15 minutes. Happily, by this time Tanngrissnir was asleep and I was left unmolested… not that it made much difference. From there, the 7:00 scramble involved my packing my sandwich fixings for lunch, but forgetting the bread in the cupboard, refreshing/reloading my MP3 player and leaving it plugged into my computer (I would have gone back for it, but I was in the parking lot by the time I realized it, and I was already running behind schedule). At least I wasn't late for work… That's a good thing right? Sadly though, this wasn't the end to my ordeal… I was greeted by a lovely message from ToD when I got in. Background: Yesterday we rec'd a piece that didn't jive with the info we were given, so I asked about it to confirm everything was OK before I did anything with it, and they confirmed what I was supposed to do with it. I found out afterwards that our receiver had also spotted the same discrepancy and asked the same Qs that I did, before I did. So, this morning when I rec'd a note saying that they made a mistake yesterday and that they had sent us the wrong info… Yes, everyone makes mistakes, but really when the second person is asking the same Qs as the first person (w/o knowing the first person had asked anything) wouldn't that be an indication that you should actually look into what's going? Then again… this is ToD. If all that wasn't enough to make you say "Hey Dude, that's a crappy day you're having", there is actually more. I almost set myself on fire. Here I was sitting at my desk, chatting with one of my co-workers and comparing notes on how crappy today is for both of us when all of a sudden I feel a serious heat coming from my left front pants pocket. What ended up happening is that the chain on the pocket watch I was carrying (my shirt doesn't have any pockets today) had completed a circuit with one of the AAA batteries I was carrying in that same pocket… and with nothing there to actually use the juice it quickly bled itself off the best way it knew how… HEAT! Apparently I was quite the sight when I jumped up in a panic and tried pulling everything out of my pocket. If nothing else my crap morning had one consolation… my co-workers all had a good laugh. It's nice to know that I can at least bring joy to others, if not myself. |
Last week, while over at my mom's house helping her take a couple of pieces of furniture out for special pick-up (I was bribed with dinner), I saw a beast that I never thought I'd actually see with my own 2 eyes...
(You'll have to excuse the lousy image, taking snapshots of TV Screens isn't the easiest thing to do )
Get this… ToD's leader asked us about meeting late next week so she could go over some of the duties that Deb and I are going to be taking from them (which, you may recall, she was supposed to have done aprox a MONTH ago). I replied back with a simple "I'm not in next week". Her response was (and I'm not kidding here) "Eeek! Vacation time? =) Would you be okay if I showed Debbie some things next week, and then she can show you when you get back?". Sidebar: 1) "Eeek!"?... Really? 2)What else would it be other than vacation time? And really, how is this your business? 3) Wacky thought… how about asking Deb if SHE is going to be OK to teach me with the half arsed instructions she is going to be given from the leader of a dept who can't get basic things done correctly the first time? So, I waited for Deb to get back from her meeting to check if she was going to be cool with being my teacher, which she was. So I replied back with "I confirmed it with Deb, and it's cool (just be sure to bring hand-outs for reference)." (Notice what I did there? Not only did I deflect her away from my biz, but ensured that Deb's job was going to be easier by making sure that there are going to be screen shots and pre-written instructions) The response? … "Cool, sounds good. are you going away to somewhere special?" Sidebar: 1) If I wanted to discuss my time off with you, don't you think I might have said something about it when you first asked, instead of COMPLETELY ignoring the Q? 2)Oops… Did I accidentally just file that message w/o replying? My bad… |
Yeah, I know, I haven't been very active in these parts lately... I'm kinda bummed out.
I've always been one to say that age is irrelevant, it's just a number, it doesn't really mean anything except on paper... yet somehow, now, for the first time in my life those just sound like words... meaningless words. I'm going to be 36 in a week and a half, and I don't like it.
All of a sudden it means that I'm going to be a MINIMUM of twice the age of anyone not old enough to drink at the raves...which is giving me another piece of stress... should I hang up my raving shoes? All the big names from my hay-day of the scene are pretty much gone, and they aren't coming back... which forces me into a new (younger) crowd where I'm obviously going to be "that old guy". As cool as ravers are, some things are universal... like giving funny looks to the guy at the party who is old enough to be your father.
I shared some of the with Gen the other day, as she's around my age (not quite there yet though) as I'm sure she could appreciate a bit of where I'm coming from here, and she gets it... it was almost amusing trying to explain this to No-Stomp (her fiancee) as I've got over 10 years on the guy and he can't fathom the headspace I'm in. Dude, give it a decade and you'll get it. Unfortunately , in chatting with Gen about this, that opened up a whole other closet full of stuff I hadn't considered... she had mentioned that when she gets bummed out it's usually work, and how she never expected she'd be where she is now and all that kinda stuff... which unfortunately got my wheels turning... and I started thinging about all that crap... and how I'm currently the only single guy in my crew... not only has everyone have someone, but next summer I've got 2 weddings to go to. How's that for a brutal reminder of one's singleness?
Yeah, singless/solitudehas been on my mind a lot too.
It kinda sucks to come home to en empty place night after night... don't get me wrong it's great to come home and find my cats waiting for me at the door and watching them battle for my affection, but it's not the same as having a person there interact with on more than a "pat pat, here's some food" level. I guess that's why I like my pottery class so much... there are actually PEOPLE there, and a good level of social interaction as everyone (well, mostly everyone) chatters away with random tidbits of life... I think I really need more of this.
So coming up, I've got my birthday week off (like I do every year) and currently have nothing going on for it... so this shit on my mind is probably going to continue to fester and turn into something ugly... unless I can find something epic to do to make it worth all the headaches.
I'm thinking I might go get a new tatt... as cliche as that is (but that's worth a whole other post), or I might just get the hell out of town for a couple of days just to get away from everything and (hopefully) clear my head.
Fuck... birthdays are supposed to be happy... celebrations of surviving another year, and looking forward to new horizons, as a new chapter of ones life starts.
... at least that is what last night's pottery class would have me believe.
Over the past week I came up with an idea that is I was to roll out a slab of clay, I could put a stencil that I made out of a thin sheet of cardboard on it, and a funkily textured piece of fabric on top of that that I can bust out the rolling pin and not only would it give me a nice flat sheet that I could then do something with, but the stencil would have pushed through giving me a raised image with a negative version of the texture from the fabric.
In my case, I had cut a turtle out of the cardboard with an exacto-knife (I drew Robin's name for the Xmas exchange... but that's a whole other post for me to catch up on) then laid a piece of burlap (I think it was burlap) in top of and rolled it. The effect was nothing short of awesome! (Unfortunately I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to do with it... I decided to make 3 more and call them coasters) Apparently I'm not the one who thought it was neat! A couple of the girls in class (including one of the more artistic ones) complimented me on it and wanted me to show them what I had done! Score! Of course this now means that I'm going to have to "up my game" and see what I can do to improve on my slab work for next week. (When I start on the Mjollnirs for John and Dave)
In a related tidbit, I've taken project bong to the next level. At first I was a little leery about it, but after a little thinking I decided that I'd already established myself as one of the cool kids in the class and everyone seems to accept me for me, so why not give them another small piece of the puzzle that is DtB. After throwing a couple of final coils on it (it resembles a bee hive) I tracked down the teach and said "Hey Kate, I remember what you said a couple of weeks ago about putting some holes in the soap dish that you were making..." there was a look of acknowledgement from her, so I continued "So, if I wanted to turn this into a bong, how would I go about doing it? Would I put the holes in now or at another point?". She took the piece, gave it a once over and not only gave me the answer I was looking for (which was to leave it out to dry a little more then go for it) but she also was suggesting how I should go about doing it, and suggested a manual breech. (not in those exact words though). When I asked her about the 8% shrinkage (clay shrinks when it dries) and the best way to work around it (as I had the actual stem/bowl assembly I'm going to use with me to try and get a perfect fit) I was told to just run the stem in, and wiggle it around to make the whole bigger. A bigger hole is better than a smaller one in this case... you can compensate with rubber bands or bubblegum... she actually suggested I could throw some silicone in there to help seal it... I can't be sure, but I think she's made a couple of these in her time.
I've known for a while now that I'm pretty lucky, in the grand scheme of things anyway.
In the past I've won my share of contests, found my share of neat/valuable stuff, found myslef some awesome friends, and generally have had a pretty good go at life. Sometimes though I don't remember that when I start getting frustrated and stressed out that some things just aren't going my way... take this past weekend for example.
I had some stuff that I wanted to do this weekend, but never got a chance to on account of how it felt my weekend was getting monopolized by everyone else. Thursday was John's b-day so he and Dana stopped by like they usually do on Thursdays, and I was able to convince Chris to come out for it as well as he'd never had my Thai stew before which I was making for the ocasion (and, if I do say so m'self, I totally rawk the house with it!). By the time the night was coming to a close, JnD took of, but Chris stuck around... I'd taken Friday off so it wasn't an issue, and we had a pretty good go at things... smoking and gaming until the wee hours of the morning. Ah, good times.
Then Friday morning hit... and he was still there. At this point I wanted to get moving with my stuff, as I'd taken the day off in hopes that I might be able to accomplish a thing or 2... NONE of which got accomplished. So, instead of getting any of my running around done, and instead of heading down to the textile museum with Ma I ended up just grabbing some raw materials and heading down to my mom's place where I made us some lunch. All the while though all I could think was that all I wanted to do was go home sit in front of my computer and fight with Windows 7 for a few hours while I tried to get it to network with my Xbox. But, that didnt' so much happen. (I still get angry when I think about how I wasn't able to have any time for MYSELF on my day off). I ended up getting home around 6:45... just in time for people to start making their way over for movie night... yay! I'd had a whopping half hour to myself... the time it took me to bus home from Ma's plus the small window at home before people started showing up. Yeah, I was thrilled...
Even more thrilling was how my brother said that he'd be leaving Ma's a few minutes behind me. Yeah, right. The fucker took a couple of HOURS to leave. :P So, he's sitting at home getting his downtime, but I don't get any for myself, because he spent the day monopolizing mine, and then as soon as I get home again I've got to entertain. Yeah, that was awesome... Oh, and it's also worth mentioning that another result of him doing this was that once again the tournament was bumped, and any hopes we'd had of having the first tier completed by the end of November were shattered with it. but I'm not bitter.
After everyone took off Friday night, I finally had some time to myself... but I wasn't about to start on any projects at that time... all I wanted to do was relax a little and emjoy some quiet time...after all, I knew that I wasn't going to have any Saturday. You see, Saturday was booked with a Hightower function. I was meeting up with the crew and we were going to check out the Riverside Halloween festival thing that was going on... which, long story short, I didn't get home from until somewhere around 2:30 / 3:00AM. I blame Paula (The one who got me sick at TLAPD) ... she wanted to make a night of it and I wasn't about to let her do it alone. heh heh heh
After I got home from that, I wasn't tired... I credit that to the coffee I had drank in order to make sure I didn't fall asleep on the bus. So, I stayed up until around 6:00AM just fucking around, again enjoying a little quiet time to myself... willing myself to get tired so I could go to bed.
When I woke up it was the crack of 3:00PM Sunday afternoon. There goes ANOTHER wasted day. After some fighting, I was able to get Win 7 installed on my machine... for some reason it wouldn't let me just UPGRADE my copy of XP, which means I'm going to have to completely REINSTALL EVERY FUCKING PROGRAM ON MY HARDDRIVE into the new OS. I told myself though that it wouldn't be an issue if I could get the Xbox and Win7 talking... which I couldn't do. Better still, I couldn't find shit on how to do it... seriously, why would anyone want to make a first generation Xbox talk with the newest OS on the market? Yeah, I wasn't thrilled about that. So, after a few hours of going nowhere I popped back into my BIOS and told my machine to boot off my XP drive instead and my life was back to normal... except for all the time I wasted with Win 7.
Its worth mentioning here that I didnt' get to bed until 3:00AM Sunday night. Funny how that happens when you wake up at 3:00PM, eh? I actually had to force myself to go to bed... and smoked a fatty and read until I conked out. Needless to say Monday morning was pretty miserable for me. I was still angry at that point about how much time I"d lost/wasted this weekend, and how I wasn't able to accomplish anything that I WANTED to do (instead of the things I felt obligated to do).
Well, once I got to work I couldn't drink enough coffee... I was a friggin zombie. On one of my trips to the kitchen I noticed a paper on the table, and flipped through it while my coffee was being made... and by fluke found the horoscope page. It said something to the effect of not having much energy for the day, especially for work ... my immediate response was "No shit, it's a Monday morning" You really have to wonder what kind of credentials you need to write these thigns when you can get away with telling people that they're going to be tired on a Monday morning and calling it a horroscope. Anyway, after getting back to my desk, I saw a Sun-Signs book in my tray that I'd loaned to one of the guys and decided to flip through it and see what it had to say about me... you know in an attempt to redeem horroscopers. It was in there that I saw that it said that Saggitarius is the luckiest of signs. Which got me thinking, and is essentially what got me to post this up. Despite all the shit, I do have it pretty good...
That and last night on my way home I detoured past Hellmart to pick up some new headphones (my last set died) and managed to get them for half price! I usually grab a set of cheap to mid price headphones... the last let I got were cheap and died fast, so I opted to go midrange hoping that they'd last a little longer. So, I grabbed a pair that were priced at $15 and made my way to the cash. When teh guy rang them through, it came up as $33. SoI set him straight and showed him where I got them from and he gave them for me for $15... and then updated the price tag on the display! 2 points for me and my luck! THEN after I got home I took another poke at Win 7... and was able to get the network thing happening.
All in all, a pretty lucky day if I say so m'self.
Right, so getting back to my tale of woe over here... Well, I guess it isn't really MY tale so much as the retelling of Vin's woes...
As I recall I'd just laid out a bunch of the history between Vin and I and I had got to his wedding. Even before the wedding, the guy had been distancing himself from his boys and was fully immersing himself in his wife's presence. The only time we'd ever see him was when she was out of town... the obvious connection being that she didn't like us, and didn't want him to spend time with us. (In the 7 years they were dating before they got married... 2 of which they were living together) I only saw her 3 or 4 times. At that point I saw him about once a year, maybe twice. Despite all his denial that she didn't like us, I can plainly remember getting a call from him that started with "The wife is out of town for the next couple of weeks, so I was thinking we could get together..." which ended up becoming a trend. We'd only ever see him if/when she was out of town... and NEVER at their place.
On top of that, he'd also stopped coming to the BIG Xmas social at my mom's place every year... which funny enough started happening the year after he brought the wife (well, gf at the time) but he wouldn't tell us that he wasn't coming... so after couple of years of that Ma stopped inviting him out to it (Yet, he'd still drop off Xmas gifts at some point in the season?). I think one of the big factors to the lack of further invites was when he was part of the Secret Santa and didn't show up... so we ended up having to have a second party in January just to rattle off the last couple of gifts.
So, all this is bad... but I haven't even hit the worst part of it. This guy who claimed that I was his best friend really dropped the ball a couple of years back, which was pretty much the last straw for me. I can put up with a lot of crap from some people... esp those who I have a lot of history with, who have earned the right to screw up w/o too much consequence from time to time. But some things just aren't cool. In this particular situation, Vin had plans with John and I. Plans that HE had initiated with us for a time when (big surprise here!) the wife was going to be out of town.
It started with him saying that he was going to have to reschedule because she left him a list of stuff he had to do lest he "be in a whole world of hurt when she gets home" (his words, not mine). For the record, she was taking off to the cottage, it's not like she was off on business or something... she she gets to go away for a couple of weeks to relax, but left him a list of chores to do while she wasn't there.
First off, I have trouble respecting the guy for letting that one slide. Yeah, I know everyone has to pitch in but come one! Second off, I know for a fact that he's the domestic one around the house... tending to the cooking, most of the cleaning AND whatever repairs need to be done. So, it wasn't a case of him having to do his share, this was her telling him that he now had to do her share too...
Anyways, John and I shared a sad laugh over this (as we'd become accustomed to this kind of behaviour over the years) and passed it off as a "whatever" and continued to look forward to the getting together the following weekend as it had been a while since the 3 of us had a chance to hang out and get some serious gaming going on.
Well, he opted to cancel out on us (via email) the day before we were to get together... something that neither John nor I were overly impressed about. And if I recall correctly, he didn't bother to copy John on the message, which left it up to me to be the messenger/middleman once more. The reason for the cancelling? Yeah, the wife was going to be in town after all, and working on grading some report cards for her students, and if we were there we'd make too much noise for her to concentrate. Uhm, dude? We're adults... we can be quiet(ish) if we're told to be quiet. Also, we'd be in the BASEMENT and she upstairs, so if we were to talk (at human levels) I seriously doubt that she'd hear us through the floor at any more than a quiet murmur... and if (and that's a big IF) we were too loud, isn't there a massive backyard we could sit in? Why yes, I think there is! Again, I stand by my theory that he's not allowed to hang out with us cuz we represent his "old life" and she doesn't like us because we drink, smoke, act foolish and don't fit into her template of "good little Christians" (incidentally Vin doesn't do any of those things any more). If I recall correctly, I wrote him off / expressed our displeasure via email in response to his message.
Surprisingly, he actually called to try and clear the air... and accomplished an EPIC FAIL in the process. He didn't actually talk to me (which suited me fine as I didn't really have anything to say to him at the time) and left an email on my machine to let me know that it wasn't his wife's fault (Bullshit!) for the way our plans fell apart, cuz she was pregnant and her hormones were all out of whack. First off:I might have bought that if this was the first time we'd had our plans punked/moved as a result of her being in town, so that argument holds no water. Second off (and this is the one that really pissed me off): This was how I found out he was going to be a father... using it as an excuse for us to not be mad at him/her. I'm sorry, but I don't think this is why/how a best friend is supposed to break the news of a pending fatherhood.
Anyways, over the next couple of years we (and by that I mean all his old friends) heard even less from him... I was surprised that was even possible. Contact was now down to 1 call a year, a couple of email forwards (ie fluff), and NO face time whatsoever (until last summer, where I finally got an invite to see his house and meet his daughter for the first time). Yet, somehow he'd still stop by my mom's place and drop off a couple of Xmas gifts (for the 3 of us), and a b-day gift for me. Awkward!
... which pretty much takes me to where I was trying to get with this whole thing. Remember way back when I started this train of thought how I had mentioned that he had opened a chat window with me when I was trying to get out the door for work? Well, it wasn't actually him that sent me the message. It looks like it was a message from a gaming network that we are both on... he had bought me a pre-order for a game that is coming out next month. He didn't say anything to me about it, no personal touch to the message or anything... just a cold cookie cutter message from the server to let me know that user So-and-so had bought me a copy of the game and to click HERE to install it.
I didn't click HERE.
Instead I slumped my shoulders, shook my head and tried to fathom "why?". At this point I knew that something had to be said, I couldn't in clean conscience accept it. But how to break it to him? That was the question... I'm not the bad guy here, and I refuse to be the bad guy here... also, I don't want to have to come off as the douche bag because he has a distorted sense of reality. That one time I was at his house, he actually (still) called me his best friend. I felt kinda sad when I heard him say that... not for me, for him. If I am truly his best friend, and this is what he has let our friendship become, I can't contemplate what his relationship would be like with anyone else.
So, what I ended up doing was thinking... soul searching even. I needed to air out the laundry, and put everything on the table and try to explain why I couldn't accept the game... and do it diplomatically. With everything we'd been through over the years I owed him that much... but not knowing how to start I put it off a bit. I wanted to do this right, and give it all the effort that Vin was due.
Two days later I got a note from him asking if I rec'd his gift.
That was the message... no "hey what's up" or explanation as to why it was sent, just a "did you get it?" Well, that made things kinda easy... showing exactly how much effort he's putting into things. So, that night when I got home from pottery (he sent it last Wed) I got started on the message. By the time all was said and done it took me about 4 hours to put it together, with all the edits, re-edits, checks and double checks I went through to make sure that it was done right. I'd touched on a lot things without pointing fingers. I'm a firm believer that it takes 2 people to fall apart, not just one, so we're both to blame here (even though I feel that one of us are more at blame than the other) so I just went into how we've gone our separate ways in life, how we're not as tight as we once were, how much stuff we weren't there for in each other's lives (and sited several examples, some of which were pretty major things that best friends should be there for) I then went on to tell him that if he was looking to reconnect and reforge the bonds that have fallen away that there are a lot better ways to do it than by buying me stuff... Things like hanging out together, or going out and doing stuff from time to time, or sending a real email that actually lets me know what is new in his life instead just some crappy forwards that I never look at.
So, I left the ball in his court. I told him that if he wants to start taking steps to get properly reacquainted that I'd be here for him, and if not that I'd be cool with that too (knowing how the fam takes precedence). That was sent Thursday morning... I haven't heard from him since. What happens from here? Who knows, but at least I can move on knowing that I've done the right thing... I just hope that he can see it that way.
While going through my morning routine I discovered some horrible planning on my part. I disocvered that I'm down to my last pair of clean underwear, and my last pair of clean (matching) socks. Ugh. This of course means that when I get home from pottery tonight that I'm going to have to spend what little time I have left to myself before I crash being all domestic and stuff. Ugh. This also means that I'm not going to be able to throw myself into the game of Civ that has been my major distraction since the weekend... Which, I guess, isn't a horrible thing. Work before play, right?
Right, so to recap...
It looks like all the aggravation, tests and bullshit that life has been throwing me over the past while aren't over yet, and it's really starting to piss me off. Wednesday morning while scrambling to get out the door for work my computer made beep/ping/chime noise, so I quickly checked up on it as I'd been having a LOT of issues with uTorrent (I have since switched back to BitLord as I was sick of Utorrent randomly stopping my DLs for no reason whatsoever) and thought that I might have just been around to witness one of these errors as opposed to getting home and seeing that nothing had downloaded over the course of the last 8 hours.
Unfortunately that wasn't the case. Instead, what I saw was a little window blinking on the bottom of my screen... my buddy Vin had initiated a chat window. (Now I say buddy, but at this point acquantance might be a more apt term) Being though that I was running a little late there was no way I was going to start chatterboxing online... besides my status was set to BUSY, and being 8:00AM on a work day I figured it would be a no-brainer for most of the civilized world that I wasn't looking to chat. So I shut my screen off and ran out the door figuring I'd respond to whatever he had to say via email when I eventualy got in that night.
Fast forward a bit to be settling in at work... Once I got to my desk I opened up my usual utils ... reporting, inventory management, manufacturing job tracking, Windows media player (I neeed my tunes!), Outlook and a broser window so I can keep an eye on any developments in my home life. After taking care of the morning
crunch of orders I flipped over to my email so see if anything exciting had happened on my way in to work. I'd noticed that I had one extra unread message, so I made the assumption that Vin had thrown me a proper email message as I didn't respond to his chat page. I was half right.
Just to throw a little background here on who Vin is, and how I know him let me digress for a moment.
I've known Vin since Grade 7. He was one of my few real friends through Jr High. We met about half way through the year... I tracked him down after being asked by several other students if I was related to him, because apparently we looked alike. I didn't see it myself, but I could see how other kids would think so (we were both overweight blonde kids that didnt' really fit into the cliques that were forming around us). Vin was my first DM (He ran the first Dungeons and Dragons game I ever played), got me heavily into PC gaming (His dad worked for IBM, so they had a sweet rig for the time), and gave me someone to hang out and spend my summer with. He was a godsend, my best friend, and a major influence on the person I am now.
There was a summer (The best summer of my life actually) where we saw eachother every day. We'd meet up somewhere around 8:00AM or 9:00AM at my place with my brother and another friend Sean, and spend the entire day playing D&D. We'd go until somewhere around 2:00AM, call it quits and start again the next morning from where we left off. That was 2 month of pure awesome, and it never would have happened if I didn't know Vin.
When he left town to go to college, we still stayed in touch... we exchanged a few letters, a couple of long distance calls. and when the cheating whore he was seeing dumped him I was there to help put the pieces of his life back together... I can remember a 3-way phone call that I was in the middle of... she was on one line and he was on the other and I was bouncing back and forth between them trying to help reconsile things. If memory serves, it was a pretty lengthy call... I can't remember though if they were local at the time, or if they were racking up some serious long distance charges trying to get this figured out. The bottom line is though that when the shit hit the fan he could have gone to his new crew, the people that knew both him and her to get it sorted out, but he didn't he came back to me.
He's the reason I now hang out with my boys Paul, Brian and Dave... we all went to school together, but I was never really tight with them... it wasn't until a few years after that, that I was invited to join them for a long weekend at the cottage that I really got to know them. It took a couple of years to happen, but now I consider those guys part of my crew, and among my best friends. Something that never would have hapened if not for Vin.
Are you starting to get the picture here? No? OK, how about if I said I was his best man and ended up getting weepy eyed while trying to stumble through my speech at his wedding? I hate/loathe speeches, but I gave it a go for him cuz that's what best friends do for eachother.
Sadly, that day ( his wedding) was the end of the MAN we call Vin, and the birth of the one named Vin-essa.
Unfortunately, I've just run out of time. (Yay work)
I'll pick this up later this weekend when I get a little time to myself.
Why am I doing this? I wish I could say that it was for some big important or special reason but I’d be lying if I did. I figured that this would be a way for me to keep track of everything that I’m doing as this is a new stage in my life… my first full year of living on my own… my first full year in the ‘do. (It’s unfortunate that I didn’t do this earlier, as there was lots of wacky stuff that happened before I started.)
The other reason I’m doing this is purely selfish. I’m hoping that in doing this it will help me be more honest with myself. I know I’ve lied to myself in the past, and that isn’t healthy. How am I supposed to be honest with my friends and colleagues if I can’t even be honest with myself? I’m thinking that if I can use this as an expression of everything that I’m thinking/feeling/experiencing I’ll have something to be able to go back on later and see how it really was at the time.
In hindsight, I’m glad that I have started this, as this has probably been one of the best years in my life, and I’m so glad that I’m documenting it!
